Grime Royal Wedding Update: The Upper Class and the Underclass

The Couple

Update from the Grime Royal wedding story:
The Grime Royal Wedding is proud to announce the couple who will shine a light on the other half of Britain on the day of The Royal Wedding.
The Grime Royal Wedding, which has been organised by Birmingham music producers The ENR Twinz, is being held on a Birmingham council estate as an alternative to the real thing.
Steven Wood, also known as Woody, and Toni Amey, also known as Tea because she loves to make a brew, have been picked as the lucky Grime Royal Wedding couple.
And they have a love story to match any multi-millionaire prince or princess.
Steven, aged 23, was nursed back to health by his sweetheart of four years Toni, aged 23, after entering Heartlands Hospital last October to have his appendix out but ended up on death’s door after a botched operation left him with half his bowel removed.
He said: “I would have died if it hadn’t have been for my Toni. When I got back from hospital I’d been given the all clear but something was seriously wrong because my wounds were horrific and I was in constant pain.
“She nursed me, looked after me and demanded the hospital fixed me up. She was my true angel, and no-one could ever wish for a better wife, even Prince William.”
The pair, who live in a council flat on Birmingham’s Bromford Estate with their pet staff bull terrier Biggie, named after Hip Hop Legend The Notorious BIG,   have been engaged for four years.
William might have gone down on one knee in a private Kenyan game reserve after years of keeping Kate waiting but Steven didn’t wait as long as the heir to the throne.
Pretty Toni, who is unemployed but wants to work with animals, said: “We were on the couch watching telly with my little sister when he asked me to marry him. I couldn’t believe it. I said yes straight away, we hadn’t been out for even a year but I knew Woody was the man for me.
“All our friends always have a laugh because our anniversary is on April Fool’s Day but it is my favourite day of the year!”
Steven, who is from Wolverhampton, and Toni, who hails from Kilburn from London, met when they lived a few doors apart from each other in Wolverhampton.
The couple, who rely on benefits, cannot afford the massive expense of a wedding but will get a day they will never forget at the Grime Royal Wedding.
Their union will be the exact mirror image of the top Great Britain’s society to the bottom, showing the schism between the upper class and the underclass, and we know who is going to have the most fun.
An urban marraige service will be held in the day and a Grime party at night, the couple will have their legal marraige certificate paid for by the ENR Twinz as soon as it can be arranged. 
As well as been engaged they have confirmed their commitment by having tattoos bearing each other’s names on their arms, something that Wills and Kate have not got round to.
Steven, who cannot work because of his injuries but was refused incapacity benefit, sports a large Steve 4 Toni on his biceps and Toni has his initials on her arm, but is waiting for it to get corrected as one of the initials is wrong.
Steven, whose never been to London, said: “We are delighted the ENR Twinz have chosen us to be the couple for the Grime Royal Wedding. I love a bit of Grime and they are legends in Birmingham so for them to be organising our wedding is amazing.
“I think it is great that Britain gets to see another side to the country on the day that millions are spent on the Royal Wedding. Why is their wedding any more important than ours? We love each other too.”
Toni said: “I am so up for this. To be married on the same day as the Royals but in Birmingham is great. I loved Diana but have not been interested in them since she died.”
The EnR Twinz, Earl and Reiss Parchment, organised the Grime Royal Wedding after realising the real wedding clashed with the opening of their new studio in Digbeth.
Earl said: “No-one under 30-years-old cares about the Royal Wedding, and our wedding is more real and reflective of real life in 21st Century Britain than all the pomp and pageantry down London.
“Our couple love each other, and we are delighted to be giving them the day they deserve. Now we have a couple it is well and truly game on for Grime Royal Wedding.
“We have no got a week to do the couple justice and if anyone is out there who can help get in touch, even if it is Iceland who pitch in with a few savoury platters or an off-licence who can give us a load of alcohol!”
For more information about the Grime Royal Wedding follow and to donate gifts or services to the big day email
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